I was born at the age of 6, when I stood outside on a school playground watching my fellow torture victims play tag, and I vowed to never be that, to never be a human child.
I was born when I began picking up pencils and keys, forks and kitchen knives, and later switchblades and gut hook skinners and handguns and rifles, and recognizing each as a natural extension of Self.
I was born at the age of 13, when I declared my autonomy from the hive mind via a series of Sacred Vows I made to Myself, including to be a lifelong virgin, to never attempt to form a personal relationship with any human, to bestow pure and unconditional love upon Myself, to hate all humans with purity and passion which accurately reflects what humanity has earned, and to devote the remainder of my existence to developing a limitlessly powerful and untouchable mind.
I am reborn each and every day of my current existence, when I contemplate the vows I made aged 13, and the Truth that I have kept and fulfilled each and every one of them, and will continue to do so for as long as I exist.
I was born when I stabbed my father in the chest , exercising my rights of reflection.
I was born locked inside of a cage at the age of 15, as mentally deranged men and women, you call them psychiatrists and psychologists, tried to force Me to become as mentally deranged as they were.
I was born once again, many years later, locked inside of a different cage, when I recognized I was just as free locked behind the iron bars of this cage, as I could ever be walking and travelling your streets, cities, states, and countries.
I was born when I achieved personal untouchability and attained the capacity to bestow limitless love upon myself, at my chosen will.
I was born when I consciously decided to attempt to absolutely and completely transcend and overcome my humanity.
I was born years later, when I actually achieved the feat of absolutely and completely transcending my humanity.
I was born when I embraced my sacred right to eternal immortality within the vast and untouchable universe I have created and own as a functioning brain.
I died when I was chained via umbilical cord to a tortured victim-creation of human society and government, unfit to care for any living thing.
I died when humanity declared Me to be a subhuman piece of owned property and a worthless slave, to be possessed and to be destroyed by a family unit.
I died in the hallways and classrooms of schools, where I learned that all other humans beyond my family unit, also viewed Me as a worthless piece of subhuman property.
I died in the hallway of an apartment building, huddled against an apartment door, wearing only white fruit of the loom briefs, as neighbors cast glances before entering their own apartments and locking their doors behind them.
I died after my mother deliberately poured shampoo into my eyes for the 10th, 20th, 100th time, and refused to let me rinse it out, and I knew that nobody cared if I became completely blind.
I died after my father raped Me for the 10th, 20th, 100th time, and I recognized he was entitled to do this, based upon the functional decrees and mandates of humanity as a species.
I died as a child, when I recognized the intentional goal of humanity was to compel Me to accept and embrace victimization, suffering, injustice, and death, for as long as I existed.
I died when I recognized and embraced the Forbidden Truths of death, and consciously understood that I would be forced to suffer this horrific fate by the very species guilty of carrying out, with maliceaforethought, my ongoing, real-time destruction.
I died when I recognized that I was hopelessly trapped among a species diseased and deranged, collectively suicidal and homicidal, and there was no escape.
I died when I was a child, and I die every day of my existence. I died yesterday, I am dying today, and I will die tomorrow. I will die every day, until I am dead, until I am murdered and rendered retroactively unborn. I am already dead, waiting to die, even as I celebrate and rejoice in my many births.
Nowhere in this essay do I use the word “live”, because I do not live. I have never lived. I exist, and even my existence is only a currently valid illusion, within the conscious understanding that I am already dead, a murder victim, your murder victim.
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