Hello moms and dads of Lake Minneola, Florida, amerikkka! How you doing? You had a bit of a scare a few hours ago, but the government wants to reassure you that everything is all right. In case you missed it, loyal and devoted slaveowners, a tortured child-slave currently imprisoned at Lake Minneola High School, fatally shot himself in the head just outside the school. I know it bummed you guys out, but you gotta just calm down and relax, because the universal trance is resuming, everything is almost back to normal, already.
So irritating, isn’t it!? You have traffic delays now, and for a few moments some of you had to worry that there might be another school massacre happening. Poor babies! It was so inconsiderate of this child-slave to self-murder right in front of the high school! Why couldn’t he have killed himself more quietly and privately, like inside the house where he was being kept prisoner by his own parents??
Well, relax. Everything is okay. Your child-slaves still belong to you, you still get to torment and victimize them at your leisure, later on today.
What a lucky break, that this crazy and evil child was too broken and destroyed to even try to take anyone else out. All we need now is a few hours of crime scene cleanup, and it’ll be like nothing at all ever even happened. No CNN news trucks to clog up traffic in the area, no nosy journalists knocking on doors to try to find someone who knew the infamous mass killer.
Nope, nothing like that, just a little blurb in the local paper, and everything will be forgotten in a few days:
Ya’ll get to continue to torture, traumatize and destroy all of your children, as you shake your head in rueful wonder, “What a terrible thing, I wonder why that anonymous, unidentified kid had to kill himself like that, out in the open, he could at least have kept it more private, just like we all try to do, as we torment our child-slaves.”
Whew, success! Another mass murder successfully prevented!
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